Since I’ve been on sick leave, I have never felt this good… and this bad. It’s the first time I truly feel crazy and confused.

I’m comforted with it being more less over. I’m happy about my life and what more it could be. A lot of positive stuff has happened while I was just waiting. But then I’ve never been as suicidal and hopeless as I can get now. You think you’ve hit bottom and then there’s a whole other level.

What’s crazy about these contrasting feelings is how quickly I can jump from one to another. Within an hour things can change drastically.

The good thing is that the positive side really is an improvement. I’ve had a bad cold I’m still getting over, I think getting into some action and reinforcing the positive feelings will make things better. Hopefully that will come soon.